Watching Daniel Bloom

An apology to all those beautiful kids I’ve ignored…and thank you Stella.

Posted on: May 23, 2011

There is nothing harder than seeing your friend’s (and family’s) children grow and excel and outshine your own child in such a way that it illuminates, so brightly, how much your own child is standing still. It’s so hard to watch, it can very easily lead to anger and resentment – feelings that are completely misplaced, but still so incredibly real.

It’s sad, because I know that I’ve avoided getting in touch with certain friends (including at least one of my closest friends), and I’ve certainly skipped their facebook posts – because I simply can’t handle the stab of pain that I feel every time I read or hear about their kids’ achievements. It’s not because I’m not happy for them – because I am. It’s simply too painful to face, over and over again, that we continue to fall so far behind in our own little world.

So this post is a confession – and an apology to all those friends with all of those beautiful children that I’ve been avoiding.

But today, I’m actually writing because I read the nicest post about a most adorable little girl named Stella, and it made me genuinely happy. A little girl who’s just 20 months old but who is sassy enough to put her mother in her place…and I laughed out loud as I read it, and I felt the happiness that I know her mom felt watching her little girl asserting a whole new level of independence.

And I realized – for the first time in a long while – that I was OK with that. In fact, I was great with that. And that’s a step forward for me, and for that, I’m thankful.

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