Watching Daniel Bloom

Falling into my arms

Posted on: December 8, 2010

One of the last things we do before D’s bedtime is go downstairs and get him a bottle. He always makes an attempt to go back down with us – hoping that we’re in a good mood and we’ll let him hang with us on the couch watching TV, rather than going straight to his room. Our little ritual of going downstairs includes D pointing and saying, in his little way, Uh-da (downstairs). When I’m feeling generous (or lazy), I take a few steps down and he stands, arms outstretched, and leaps into my arms.

I love that moment – when he looks at me with complete trust and throws himself down the stairs, knowing that I will be there to catch him. And I am. Without fail. I catch him and hold him tight and hop down the stairs because he loves it when we hop, hop hop and it always brings one of those smiles and a giggles that I live for.

But thinking about that moment also fills me with a sense of enormous, sometimes overwhelming responsibility. He Trusts ME. He knows I’ll always be there to catch him. My little boy who clearly has so many fears….he trusts me enough to throw himself down a flight of stairs at me. And that’s my role – the most important thing I have to do – today, tomorrow, and everyday – is to be there to catch him.

I didn’t realize what I signed up for when I had kids. And there are times when I just wish for a moment I could go back to worrying about myself falling down those stairs. But times have changed and I had my chance. So now I’ll be there, always, with my arms outstretched, waiting for him to fall, and pray that I can be there to catch him.

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